Gamma Goat

[m3a1]

In WWII, the early efforts against the German ground forces were made in North Africa and things there didn't get much farther North than Tunis, unless you're talking specifically about Bizerte (or maybe Ras Angela, both of which are in Tunis). Everyone's boys were going on a great adventure and *ahem* adventure they did!

Eventually, this memorable (and slightly naughty) song of the war, Dirty Gertie from Bizerte, was sung everywhere and anywhere. Even if you had never actually been to Bizerte, the lyrics may have (and I use the term 'may' to protect the innocent) conjured reminisces of similar adventures and conquests made elsewhere on the globe. Gertie certainly wasn't the woman you wanted to bring home and introduce to your mother.

Many stanzas were added, some undoubtedly drafted to immortalize actual experiences and others only penned to conjure the imaginations of the boys who found themselves far from home and needed a little boost to morale. Reportedly, by the spring of 1944 there were somewhat close to 200 stanzas! Yes, Gertie surely DID get around! But one girl can only do so much for the war effort and so, there were also many of take-offs promoted under various titles, such as "Filthie Fannie from Trepani", Venal Vera from Ghiziera", etc. but, they only added to the already soiled glory... of Gertie.

No matter the song's title; no matter the lyric, it was universally agreed, whatever went on 'neath the skirtie of Gertie wasn't purty. Enjoy the first lyric -

Dirty Gertie from Bizerte
Dirty Gertie from Bizerte
Hid a mousetrap 'neath her skirtie,
Strapped it to her knee-cap purty,
Baited it with Fleur-de-Flirte,
Made her boyfriends' fingers hurty,
Made her boyfriends most alerte!
She was voted in Bizerte
Miss Latrine for 1930.

Which brings us to the matter of Gertie's latest namesake, a certain M561 Gama Goat. I gave her that name because, despite she having not one thing to do with WWII, she possesses some of the fundamental qualities that made Gertie so undeniably famous. She has some curiously attractive qualities and yet, gives off so many warnings and raises so many alarm bells that to become involved with her to any degree would be (how shall we put it?) rather dangerous because what goes on 'neath her skirties really isn't purty. She's a fallen woman, but I do love her so.

Cheers,
TJ
"This is my Gama Goat. There are many like it, but this one is mine."

[Mr. Recovery]

Hahaha! Yep, Dirty Dirty Gertie, We had a few like that in Germany also.

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[Bill, Idaho]

Hi guys--it's been a few years or so since I posted. To refresh anyone/everyone's memory, I own an M151A2, a handful of M416's, flat bed equivalent to the M416 (I forget the M number), an M54A2CWo/W (5ton multifuel with HEMMT wheels), a 1 1/2 ton trailer with a VSS-1 searchlight powered by an MEP mounted on the trailer (the 5 ton drags that around), a couple of smaller generator trailers with MEPs. and................
A Gama Goat.
I bought it a decade ago. It was in barely ok condition. As with most military vehicles, by the time an owner wants to do a clean restoration, somewhere in the line of previous owners (usually named Bubba) things are either cut off, welded on, or had a million holes drilled into it. This Goat fell into the last category- it had scores of holes drilled into the carrier-right where a soldier's butt would sit. So, with my little 110VAC welder, I welded up all those holes drilled into the aluminum. It took a week of nothing but welding and grinding. I must admit it turned out good. Then, with a stroke of luck, I actually found a guy that worked on THAT PARTICULAR GOAT when it was in service!! I dug through records and found out what NG unit had this one, I then fell into the age-old "friend-of-a-friend"situation. He was in the NG at that outfit, and actually worked on that rig. How cool is that!! Problem was, I then found out all those holes I was swearing at and filled up-----were there for a reason! This Goat was a very rare RATT rig, with a ton (literally) of radio stuff bolted onto the carrier. Those holes were for the mounting sponsons!!! So, boys and girls, I had to drill them all back out. Story of my life, I tell ya".... There USED to be a very detailed informative website devoted to Goats, but the owner of the site died unexpectedly and the site was lost forever.
Anyway, I restored it back into it original configuration---one of the only known RATT rigs that did NOT utilize an S250 shelter. Why the radio stuff wasn't put inside a shelter no one will ever know, but by God, I have it. It now has a GRC106, a GRR5, two RT524s, an RT246, an R442, a VRC240T with the AM241T amplifier, a GRC142 with the appropriate MD522 modem, a VIC1 intercom system, and a TA838 field phone. When I set up all the antennas it looks like the worlds largest porcupine. Yes, everything works. Technically speaking, I am missing the cable that goes from the MD552 modem to the -74 teletype. Everything is accurately placed and mounted.
They (Goats in general) are as previously mentioned in detail--extremely hard to work on. No argument there. Unbelievably labor intensive. That being said------of all my military vehicles the Goat is BY FAR the most fun to drive. I have gathered a bunch of spare parts--AND NO, THEY ARE NOT FOR SALE AT THIS TIME...tires are proving to be the biggest issue. Oddball size and haven't been made for decades. There are some parts that interchange with a few other M series rigs, so there is that.

With all that being said.......I am awaiting the results of a medical tests I had to have done. Depending on the results---everything might be for sale. Film at 11.

[m3a1]

Great story...and, the very BEST of luck to you, Bill. I'll say a little prayer for you tonight. The man upstairs has always been good to me and never given me one thing I couldn't handle. Maybe I have a little pull with him, even at this late date.

Cheers,
TJ

[12Bravo]

TJ and I did a trade that we both walked away happy, the Goat was not going to just some ole Joe Bubba . Seeing the post from TJ and the work and maintenance he did on the A2 I knew she was going to a good home.The Goat ,which he has found out, is a time machine, untouched by anyone. First owner got it out of Camp Lejeune ,date unknown, It was released with all the goodies which is unheard of.Seat cushions ,cargo carrier cushions,tops ,etc. He placed it in a barn and fired it up once or twice a year,second owner whom I got it from only put around 500 miles on it and had no idea what he owned. Surveyor found her for me on Craigslist in S.C.

[m3a1]

Yup, Goat ownership is a little bit scary. There is a lot to learn and it feels a bit like tap dancing through a minefield. But I like the learning bit and I'll share as I go and we'll all be pseudo Gama Goat experts by the time we're done.

But it is a minefield. By way of example, compressed air is pumped into places you wouldn't even imagine but, unfortunately, it is unfiltered so, if that air line has oil in it that oil can go places where you don't want oil. If you didn't know that you'd be in trouble quicker than it would take you to get out of it. Yup.

If I recall correctly, 12Bravo told me those particular lines were disconnected (It's totally unnecessary kit if you're not going swimming) but it is a good illustration of how not knowing these things can get an unwary Gama Goat owner into trouble over time.

Yesterday I ordered the bump-stops for the two "yokes" that support the tail gate when it's down. Frankly, the whole thing appears to be a sort of afterthought, design-wise. I know it wasn't but it has the earmarks of compromise written all over it. Naturally, I'll share pics so you can judge for yourself. In fact, I think we'll do a little expose' on the tailgate and the problems that were associated with it because, if the truth were to be told, it's a hot mess. They made it work, but it really is a hot mess.

Cheers,
TJ

[m3a1]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I hit the books, got some part numbers and rounded up some replacements for the various water-resistant switches on the dash board of the Gama Goat. I ordered replacements and replacements for the replacements. (and you know how fond I am of having spares)

I also somehow managed to knock my back out of shape yesterday so, it looks like today is going to be a 'light duty day' and that often means I will be found in front of my computer, typing up long-winded drivel to amaze and annoy folks on the forums. Today is that day. Lucky you!

Now, when sourcing parts, an important thing I've learned to consider is figuring out what parts my vehicle (Gama Goat) just might share with other M-series vehicles so as to (1) find a better price per piece and (2) have a better chance of finding said part. In my world, I've found that anything identifiable as Half Track, DUKW, or Gama Goat is usually considered by the seller to be worth thrice its weight in gold. Whereas, if the same part is listed for say, the M35 (a far more prolific vehicle) the price is usually far lower and as you might guess, even easier to find.

This is something everyone should give some thought to, no matter what flavor of MV you own, because you want to be able to shop and get bargains wherever and whenever they are available. So....how do we find those bargains? Simple. We find sellers who don't know exactly what they have.

In places like eBay (especially in places like eBay), some folks have parts for sale but they just don't know what they go to. Often times they're just people who lucked into large boxes of stuff and they are selling it at far less than a MV-hobby prices. Call me crazy but I think we should do our level best to help those nice folks along and buy as much of it at bargain basement prices as we can afford to. Times are tough and we all have to pull together.

Okay. OKAY! I know.. You know I'm really not Mother Theresa. I'm just a mercenary MV-er who is looking out for #1. Yes, The Truth will set you free.

ANYHOO....this is the kind of seller I love to find. The seller usually lists the part(s) on eBay only by the part number (which the seller found stamped on the part somewhere) and maybe a very basic description. Sooooo...if you just happen to know the part number you are looking for, you are in an excellent position to search by that number and find a bargain or two. The logic is inescapable.

I do want to add that we should not ignore the fact that there are people out there whose livelihoods depend upon our buying MV parts from them so let's not forget them, or neglect them. They've done a great service to the MV community and they deserve our continued patronage.

This brings us to those boring and dusty old Tech Manuals that everybody looks sideways at. If you learn how to use them (something not often discussed here to any great length) they can really be your best friend. Of all the manuals, the 20P might just be your very best friend because that is where the part numbers are found... with pictures!...and you know we all LOVE pictures!

Between its covers, the -20P has listed, every part for your vehicle, right down to the last little piecost, including the proper description of the part and those all-so-important Part Numbers.

In what follows, I will be using Obscurum Liber, the Gama Goat's -20P since I just happen to have one right here next to me. To begin, you will need the following items: Have something to write on and something to write with because you are going to be jotting down some important information. Get an 8x11 sheet of paper because I assure you, you will be finding some other things in there that you didn't know you were looking for.

You will also need a Henweigh.....

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We begin with the INDEX at the very front of the manual. Find the topic which is related best to what you are looking for, keeping in mind the people who wrote this TM may be using logic that would escape most normal people. Usually, it's pretty straightforward but sometimes you just have to settle down and 'let that ol' dog hunt'.

In the exercise that follows, we will be looking at Tractor Air Lines and Fittings, Figure 101, Page 262 (for the Gama Goat). That's about as obscure as I can stand to get at the moment.

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Go to the page with the technical drawing, or diagram of the system (called The FIGURE). There, identify the part you are interested in and make note of its reference number in the figure. Jot it down, because this stuff is easy to.... (I've forgotten the word I'm looking for). Anyway, these numbers are easy to unremember....disremember?...aw nuts, getting old stinks! My back hurts for no discernable reason and I keep forgetting certain words.

In this case, we'll select the diagram's reference number, Number 20 (bottom, center of the figure). Jot that down. So your notes should read something like, "Page 262, Figure 101, Reference number 20."

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Then, thumb back several pages (toward the front of the manual) until you find the REPAIR PARTS LIST. The Repair Parts List comes before all the Figures that it covers. Be aware that this section is going to contain references to several and likely, many Figures that follow it. So, in the Repair Parts List Section, look over in the second column from the right (No, your military right!) and there you will locate the number of the Figure you were looking at....again, in this case it's number 101. Don't believe me? It's written at the bottom of the page. (see photo above)

Then, when you've found '101' group, look over to the extreme right column and find the reference number for your part (reference number 20).

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And, Voilà, below the part description in parenthesis is the PART NUMBER! Yay! And do I need to say this again?.... WRITE IT DOWN! If you are a real, honest-to-goodness KOOK (Keeper Of Odd Knowledge) you will also find the NSN number in the column to the left of the description (No! Your military left, dummy!) This is also a valuable piece of information that also has the potential to be be parlayed into a bargain.

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Now, go out there and find a deal! If the savings are fabulous, buy two..or all of them, and start your very own Great Big Box of Everything.

Cheers,
TJ

[rickf]

Where is your 34P? When you start needing parts from that book you are in deep Doo-Doo!

[m3a1]

It's in the pile with all the other books. I like the Mk1 Mod0 3D jobs over those digital ones.

[m3a1]

Despite Dirty Gertie's rather wall-flower appearance, Cadillac, Mercury, Packard and Buick don't have NUTHIN' on her.

From Wikipedia -

Dagmar bumpers (also known as "bullet bumpers") is a slang term for conical shaped bumper guards which began to appear on the front bumper/grille assemblies of certain American automobiles following World War II. They reached their peak in the mid-1950s. The term is derived from the notable physical attributes of Dagmar (born Virginia Ruth Egnor), a buxom early 1950s television personality known for low-cut gowns and conical bra cups.

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As originally conceived by Harley Earl, GM Vice President of Design, the conical bumper guards would mimic artillery shells. The similarity of these features to the then popular 'bullet bra' as epitomized by buxom television personality Dagmar was inescapable.

Oh BOY! You said it, brother!

So what could possibly be better than sporting a set of Dagmars? Well, you guessed it....two sets of Dagmars! That's right, boys. The Gama Goat comes fully equipped with..... .....TWINS. *swoon*

So, if you ever see a photo of a vehicle following a Gama Goat in convoy just a little too close; if you ever see a bunch of troops gaggled up at the rear of a Gama Goat, well, now you know why. Put on yer shades if you don't want to get caught looking!

All of this makes for great reading but, I'd imagine that many of you are rolling your eyes and thinking that this is just more balderdash that ol' TJ has cooked up for the purpose of making reading entertaining again. Nope. I plead Not Guilty...well, maybe just a little bit guilty..

The Gama Goat's design attributes are one long litany of compromise between weight and strength and perhaps one of the most obvious, in-your-face examples of that is the Goat's tailgate. It is constructed of steel and consists of two stamped components that are welded together at their edges. This description is oversimplified but I'll be doing more on the tailgate later. If I haven't bored you to death by then, you can come back for a little looky-loo.

The stamping process created two primary pieces that, when joined together, created a channel or tube-like structure around the circumference of the tailgate, framing it and creating a fair amount of rigidity in the piece...ergo, it was light, and also strong, fulfilling the two primary and defining features of the Gama Goat. Equipped with a clever rubber gasket, dogged down and with water pushing insistently against the entire submerged surface of the tailgate, the whole thing makes a nice waterproof barrier against intrusion of water into the carrier.

My tailgate happens to hold water IN the carrier when it rains (even with old seals) and it achieves this even without hydrostatic pressure pushing against the outside of the tailgate, so you can imagine how well it seals, otherwise. And this, Dear Reader, is where the story of the genius tailgate design stops being 'genius' and begins to sink beneath the waves.

Unfortunately, the Gama Goat tailgate isn't always up which is precisely where the problem begins. If permitted to hang straight down it does several things. First, it reaches nearly to the ground on an unloaded vehicle on a perfectly flat surface (now imagine loading the carrier with an heavy S-250 hard shelter or as many troops or as many artillery shells as the military could possibly cram into it). Yeah...you got it. Dirty Gertie's skirty is actually a bit long and if she squats.....well!

Second, the tailgate comes in contact with the pintle hitch when hanging straight down and the regularity of finding hitch-dents in Gama Goat tailgates tells us a lot about how rare it would be for one to find a full pioneer kit actually ON these vehicles. The joke might have been, "You don't need something to dig with....you need something to BAIL with!" (Which is a clever joke that I am rather sure regular Goat drivers didn't find funny at all.)

If dropped, the tailgate IS going to be damaged by banging into the hitch and how many times have we seen and heard the tailgates being "lowered" on military trucks by simply dropping them? This happens all the time. By the way, this is not a testament to the quality of troops we have. It's just human nature to take the path of least resistance.

Third, on it's interior, the Gama Goat tailgate is equipped with a very thoughtful boarding step, which is self-folding with the aid of gravity (provided it's not gummed up with a lot of crud from muddy boots). Unfortunately, that useful step is designed so that it is decidedly NOT level unless the tailgate is hanging straight down and fully up against the hitch.... which is precisely the way it should not be allowed to hang.

No matter how gently it got there, having your tailgate hanging straight down (and up against the hitch) while a hoard of Mongols stomp aboard using a step that, is no doubt slicker than cow slobber, definitely isn't going to be good for the tailgate. And believe me, those fellows aren't going to tip-toe aboard like a bunch of Girl Scouts.

By the way, that reminds me of two old jokes and since we are discussing the gloomy prospects for doomed tailgates now is a good time to lighten the mood. So, here we go.

What's the difference between the (insert your favorite branch of the military here) and the Girl Scouts?
The Girl Scouts don't have artillery.
-OR-
What's the difference between the (insert your favorite branch of the military here) and the Boy Scouts?
The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

Bah-dum..ching! Sorry, that's it. That's all I got. I now return you to our Gama Goat tailgate disaster "as it unfolds". Ha! I crack myself up.



Engineers live in a world of clean, organized, well-lit rooms. They used to wear neckties, had a place to hang their suit coats and had pocket protectors to keep those starched white shirts (always tucked in) free from ink stains. This is a lifestyle that couldn't possibly be any more different than the world of the fellows who would actually be using the Gama Goat; tired, wet and muddy (or sandy), your average trooper isn't going to spend a moment gently lowering a tailgate....on ANYthing. Nor is he likely to give even the least consideration to what damage he might be doing to said tailgate when the only thing between him and a hot shower is the simple act of getting back on the truck in order to get back to civilization.

Now I am about to do a bit of speculating, but my theories are sound and I just cannot come up with another explanation for the historic and repleated reports that the tailgate was getting routinely BENT, as well as dented...so here goes. What is the most obvious solution to the damage occurring in the field; damage that has the potential to cause your floatable vehicle to sink? You know it. Tell the troops, STOP DOING THAT! And what would be their response? C'mon, you know! If you don't have kids, you know someone who does. When told NOT to do something, kids will do... something ELSE....and so it goes with the troops.

So they do the next best thing. They hang the tailgate from the chains and then the boys to climb aboard that way. Now we have a hoard of tired, muddy, grumbling Mongols having difficulty clambering aboard (with a perfectly good and now totally useless boarding step in their way)....with predictable results. Yes, now, our poor miserable tailgate is being bent outward by guys who are either climbing in or jumping out. By the way, a hitch-dented tailgate, even with a little crack will still keep most of the water out. But a tailgate that is not straight, won't. What a world!

The Gama Goat's tailgate, its first line of defense for keeping water OUT was not only getting dented IN by the hitch...it was ALSO getting dented OUT by troops who using it in a manner for which it was not designed, to climb IN! That brings the old 'in-out in-out' thing to a whole new level of craziness. The boys back in the motor pool must have been tearing their hair OUT. The whole thing kinda makes ya want to go airborne where voluntarily jumping out of a perfectly good airplane (that is IN THE AIR!!) makes perfect sense.

How does one get around all that? Well, we know CONDEC certainly didn't retool their stamping processes to recreate the tail gate, which would be a very costly and time-consuming thing. Nope. They just reenforced the top of the tailgate with a piece of angle iron and that, Dear Reader, is not speculation. I have seen photos of NIB tailgates coming out of the box with the reenforcing iron already in place.

I acquired my Gama Goat with a tailgate that was already hitch-dented and cracked at that dent (just a teensy bit) which is something I don't find to be wholly objectionable because I will never, EVER swim mine and having a historically and legitimately damaged tailgate provides convenient and incontrovertible evidence of the problems associated with designing, and then redesigning, and then re-redesigning a vehicle that is expected to do a little bit of everything...except sink.

That sort of thing makes for a greater range of interesting topics to speak of when one is addressing people who want to know more about one's former military vehicle. I find this sort of dialogue far more engaging than simply talking about the dull specifications of the vehicle. Tell someone about your vehicle's, length, width, horsepower and then watch the disappointment on their face.

Car shows. Where we used to show our vehicles. Remember THOSE? Fear not. They'll be back fellas...I promise you!

Anyway, I'm happy to report my tailgate is still straight, having received its very own reenforcing angle iron very long ago.

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So, as a design, the Gama Goat would continue to get a nip and a tuck here and there, putting bandaids upon bandaids, upon bandaids.

BRING ON THE DAGMARS! (and you thought I had forgotten them!)

Somewhere along the way, someone decided having the tailgate up against the hitch was "bad". What to do...what to do? The obvious solution was to keep it from hitting the tailgate (duh!) and remember, retooling tailgate stamping dies was definitely NOT going to happen, and the hitch was going to remain where it was and brother, we are going to be talking about that hitch later, as well.

So, they created little stand-off brackets (BRACKET, ANGLE, BUMPER CARRIER ASSEMBLY, 2ea.) and bolted them to the bed support gussets located on either side of the hitch. And then they bolted little Dagmars to those (BUMPER, CARRIER ASSEMBLY, MOUNTED ON YOKE, 2ea.) which happened to be bumpers pilfered from the M35 parts bins. They are one and the same, right down to the part number.

The 1970 printing of the -20P shows a very anemic looking little 'L'-shaped bracket with a single, rather lonely looking Dagmar. They broke, the poor, fragile things. In a later design, the Bracket became a sort of crooked 'T' shape upon which was mounted two Dagmars. No points for scale because they were still very tiny, but extra points for quantity and I must say, having two Dagmars located in such proximity to one another...WELL, that does stir one's imagination! So there is that.

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In theory, this would prevent undo damage to the tailgate in terms of it coming in contact with the hitch by acting as a standoff and an arrester for the energy of a tailgate that happened to get dropped (but only barely) and only while the bumpers and bracket retained their full integrity. A miss is as good as a mile so, for a while at least, the tailgate was safe and all was right with the world. Well, almost all. Remember the convenient yet unusable step? Well, it appears that never quite got sorted out. In fact, with the tailgate now laying safely against the Dagmars the step is now more than a few degrees off kilter. A pity, really because it really had the potential for being a very convenient little accessory.

I think the Rolling Stones put it best -

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need

Cheers,
TJ
"This is my Gama Goat. There are many like it, but this one is mine."

[12Bravo]

The goat will swim safely with the tailgate removed if carrier is empty.

[m3a1]

Not too much going on around here Goat-wise, which is a happy testament to how little there is to do on this rig but, poke around in some of the more remote corners of any vehicle, you're going to find a few things. It doesn't bother me at all to do that. These small jobs provide manageable opportunities to put something of myself into the truck. I will say this - 12Bravo had done so much, it still kind of feels like it's his truck.

I began some minor efforts which took me into the right rear and left rear sponsons (and they look almost pristine inside). The original purpose was to tighten up the dogs for the tailgate just enough to make them stay out of the way when opened.

Along the way, I found a blackout light with a bad wire and removed it altogether so as to be able to work on correcting that a bit more efficiently. I decided I might just as well check out the interior to see how that had fared over the years.

Tried to get the thing open only to find one screw (why is it always the last one?) that simply refused to come out. Oiled it, shocked it, oiled it again. Put it out in the hot Texas sun but after a couple of days...nuthin'...

I cut the head off, removed the lens cap and put a pair of vice-crips on the shank of the headless screw. It twisted right off, leaving the threaded bit in the bucket. Grrrr! Well, you know where I went. The GBBOE provided another bucket. Funny thing is, the moment some of these old things get handled a bit, the darned paint starts flaking off. Add another step to what it would take to get this back together.

After a quick scraping and a bit of wire-wheeling here and some judicious masking, both the lens cap and the bucket got a new coat of paint, right over the old. Didn't worry about making it perfect and new-looking. Wanted it to look like nobody had fussed with it and it will get another coat of paint later; one that matches the paint job on the Goat. Once that is done, it will look perfect.

After drying, I moved the guts over, installed new bulbs with some dielectric grease, retapped all the screw holes, added a new screw and she's fully serviceable once again.

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Call me crazy but these lifting shackles are hard to find at a reasonable price. They are a part number that is shared with the M37 so maybe that explains their rather strange popularity. You M37 owners pay way too much for parts. I know your trucks are popular but, DANG! I really felt had to dig in my heels on these so I scoured the net and finally sourced two from two separate places at prices that didn't leave me feeling like I had been beaten, robbed, beaten again, and left for dead, face down in the dirt at the bottom of an arroyo.

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Managed to negotiate a deal on a couple of NIB battery covers for the Goat. They are late production pieces that are slightly different than the Early ones I have on mine but that difference doesn't show when they are on the truck. I don't necessarily need them but I'm going to be building a small parts inventory for the Goat over time. These sorts of things may never go on the Goat while I have it but they will lend themselves to keeping this Goat going well into the future which I believe adds value to the truck.

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There are moments of happy discovery with new acquisitions. We had a brief rain last week so the usual pace of operations around here came to a screeching halt because of it. I decided to have coffee on the porch and came outside to this amazing transformation... Call me crazy but I really like the wet 'parade gloss' look.

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Cheers,
TJ

[rickf]

Your Ford looks like it turned into a Dodge.

[m3a1]

Guy one, "How does your Dodge drive?"
Guy two replies, "Oh, it drives just fine."
Guy one says, "Can I drive it?"
Guy two says, "Sure, go ahead."
Guy one comes back with the truck and says, "That truck drives like s--t! I thought you said it drove fine!"
Guy two says, "That's not my truck..."

Yeah....That's not my truck.

[Mark]

Now I think I should have bought a goat instead of a mutt